Be afraid, very afraid

So my girlfriend and I are talking about her 6th grade daughter who is being bullied in school. When my friend asked her daughter if she was scared of this girl, her daughter shook her head yes. Hmm, my friend pondered, is this girl larger than you? Yes, the daughter shook her head again. Hmm, my friend hesitated, is this girl larger than me? (My friend is a size 2, most people are larger than her~crazy hesitation and question) Yes, the daughter shook her head and then added, "Mom even her breasts are larger than yours!"

Well....there you have it!
Be afraid, very afraid.

Chicago...

Sometimes we just have to get away from the everyday activities and our normal environment to gain perspective of our purpose. We were in Chicago less than 48 hours but Gracie and I made the most of it. Riding the subway to Downtown, which BTW was her first time to ride, was a thrill to watch her observe the difference in people. Our first person she noticed was the little old man in the blue hat - talking to himself and everyone around. He was loud, talking about absolutely nothing, yet brought a smile to the faces around him. Which was more than others were able to accomplish. We hit downtown around noon, walked Magnificent Mile browsing through many stores (American Girl, Nike, Feline's Basement, Guess, Macy's, Marshall Fields to name a few) and ended for a break at our fav - Corner Bakery! With our cup of coffee and hot chocolate in hand we journeyed to the river, stopping at the NBC studio where Gracie jumped up and down outside behind the news anchor's studio window. Yes, it showed that on air :). After a long day, we headed to the CTA to take the subway home. Crowded in with the other bizillion 5 o'clockers we stood and finally found two seats available. After about 30-40 minutes on the subway there were only two other men and us left on....we thought...until back in the corner was our little old man in the blue hat. I couldn't resist. I had to go over and take a picture. At first he was reluctant saying, "No, no, no, no" as fast as he could. Then I told him, "We just want to take a picture of your cute little blue hat." Well O.K., he decided. Snap I got the picture. He couldn't wait to see his picture, loved it and as we got off the subway he waved goodbye.

The next day Gracie and I were up early and headed back into downtown. After having breakfast at our fav - Corner Bakery, we headed over to the Sears Tower (the tallest building in the U.S.). Wow, that's incredible and everyone must journey up to the 103 or 99th floor. After we finished our hour or so of gazing at beautiful Chicago we headed back out to the streets to journey some more.

I realized several things on this trip:

1. Rarely do people smile if they don't know you, but when you take a chance and smile first - most often than not - they smile back. -:0).

2. The traffic ladies in Chicago are very friendly - we're glad because we asked each one we saw how to get from A-B & Y-Z, they always obliged and helped us.

3. Grace likes revolving doors. I should have one put in the house.

4. We held casual interviews on the streets of Chicago asking what "girl" advice they would give to an 11 year old. Great advice...I'll post it someday.

5. People who sing on the streets and in the subway stations have great voices - they should get paid more for singing.

6. Our hearts hurt for the homeless people who sat or laid there awake but lifeless. We smiled, they didn't.

7. Corner Bakery has an awesome staff - friendly, helpful and funny.

8. The people in Chicago are just like the people in our hometown - hard workers trying to get by - but if they saw someone in need, they would help.

9. We affect each other a lot and can change an expression or thought by an act of kindness.

10. I loved my time with my daughter, Gracie. She reminds me to chillout - enjoy life - turn the phone and laptop off. Go through the revolving door more than once. Ride the elevator to the top floor. Feed the pigeons on the street. Smile at the homeless and on the subway. Keep things simple like the little man in the blue hat: strike up a conversation, be able to laugh at yourself and smile at everyone around.

Gracie you poured in my life again without even knowing. But guess who else did too, the little man with the blue hat, without even knowing it he poured into my life.

So here's to a great trip Gracie and our new friend, the little old man with the blue hat!

The book is POUR and I'm writing

Yesterday I met with the ghost writer to finalize our approach. She had some great points and we finalized the layout of thoughts (wow did I ever have a lot of thoughts).

My passion is to help females, young and old, realize their potential. I can't be a "mother" daily walking with these girls and ladies so to put what has worked for me in book form and workbook is our best bet. Plus we will host Pour conventions/gatherings, taping them to be on podcasts and viewed through our website. Monthly we will host Dr. Juliet Caceres, family and child psychiatrist, who will answer questions. We will have available podcasts/videos to help youth communicate with their parents on hard topics. We hope to have this available in schools next fall. At first, all of this was just going to be for young girls, but through my conversations and interviews I've realized there are some women up in age that still struggle with old "baggage" and self doubt. Many even are passing the "baggage" down to their children who unless travel the path of self discovery realizing their passions, talents, and strengths they will believe in the baggage and make it a permanent part of their life. Therefore our target market is females of all ages, but I think men will benefit from it as well.

The book and series is titled, Pour. What we allow "poured" into our lives we become. We have permission to stop the pouring, preventing it to take home in our mind thus orchestrating our perception of who we are or can become. There are areas of our minds that are unopened with new motivations & opportunities, therefore providing "Wow" and "Ah Ha" moments in our lives. The book will walk you through the process of opening those areas. One of the quotes in the book is: "What is poured into your life or you pour into others WILL someday bear fruit." The "field of bygones" could be portrayed in the book as a "spiritual" walk but will not, although in the appropriate settings it would be great. I've personally traveled to the field of bygones many times. To ensure a healthy life, the field of bygones must be visited frequently, ridding the baggage, struggles, and strongholds in our life that prevent us from success, opportunities and happiness. I portray struggles and hurts in the book as badges. Some choose to wear their struggles and hurts on their sash as a badge of honor as if to say, "Hey, look here, look what I've earned. Yea it was hard....want to hear about it?" Some never want to get rid of their "badge of hurt", and move on. Another part, I ask the readers to stand in the mirror from shoulders up, looking at themselves; see how long you can do that without having a negative thought about yourself? What is the first thought when YOU say your name?

I could go on and on about the writings. I have toiled back and forth on how to write this and finally have come to the conclusion to write what I say to people almost every week. "Ah ha"!

Pour

Pour! What you pour into your child, they will someday wear as fruit in their life.

I'm asking you to hold me accountable to finish the task I've been working on for several years, writing a book titled, Pour. Feel free to leave a comment or your thoughts regarding the passages. Over the next few weeks and months I will post random passages from the book. My passion to pour into your life, plant a seed to bear fruit for a great harvest. The following is a passage from my first write:

The verbal or expressive choices parents make in helping their children travel through their twenteens (ages 14-21) will impact their life as adults. The fruit they bear will in part be the seeds you've planted and your continuation of pouring throughout their life for a harvest.

The other day I asked my son to water the flowers and plants. He gathered up the pitchers and began filling them with water. As I was pulling out of the garage and glanced around at our ferns and wilted flowers I thought to myself how water will help revive them. I drove on to the gas station to fill the car up with gasoline. While holding the nozzle in the car, with the gas pouring into the tank I saw a mother yelling at her child. As if her child were miles away and couldn’t hear, she spewed her point filled with profanity at him and slammed the door. About that time my pump stopped because my gasoline tank was full. I returned the nozzle to the pump, put the cap on, sat in the driver’s seat and shut the door. Driving by the boy behind the slammed door our eyes met and I realized his tank is empty. What his mother had just poured into him drained his little heart, soul and spirit.

Pour – a daily act into lives of those we interact with. Some pour pure water even filled with fertilizer to help us in our growth. Others pour acid that rips us from within. There are even those who pour sludge which keeps us dredging uphill.

I was looking through my son’s new iphone. He was showing me all the great tools and programs on the iphone. As he pointed to the “Notes” icon he said and I can keep track of my days on the notes. We continued to look at his phone together and I asked him if I could look at the notes, facebook, youtube, etc, sure he said. Looking through his notes I noticed on each day he had typed, Won or Lost. As I continued to look through each day I saw where after each documentation of won or lost he would have a explanation, “I empowered” “I helped” or even “I was tempted but didn’t give in”. On lost he had “I wasn’t compassionate”. I asked him what each one meant and he explained he keeps track each day whether he wins or loses. Wow! Without even realizing, he had just poured into my life and on this day he could journal, Won, I poured.

Field of Bygones

The field of bygones….
A field filled with years and years of bygones.
A place the young at heart can simplistically understand but as years
of life grow on the hearts of individuals
the comprehension & understanding of the field of bygones becomes complex.

Some slowly drive by and watch in wonder
others step at the edge of the fence and
watch the field in the distance fill with people
who have traveled down the narrow path
to leave their bygones.

The bygones are churned in the ground
being used as fertilizer, similar to a compost
to be used for the next generation to step upon
Leaving their bygones.

As you dispose of your bygones in the field
A rebirthing begins within your heart and soul.
While some individuals chose to stay
and focus on their years of bygones
Others humbly empty their bygones, turn and walk away.

The moment you breathe the words,
“Be gone my bygone, Pour life into me.”
The spirit of the sacrificial lamb
Enters your body and begins filling the emptiness with life.

As you turn to walk the path to exit the field
A rebirthing, new energy, new life is felt.
It’s a new spirit beating inside of you.
Your heart is now beating in harmony
with the creator of the Universe,

At the exit of the field of bygones is
An inheritance book and
Upon the death of your bygones
A will is presented; it’s called the book of life.
Within this book of life you will learn
How to gain your inheritance as an adopted
Son & Daughter to the King of the Universe.

The King of the Universe has now bestowed upon you
Special offerings as his Sons and Daughters.
The book of life instructs you on how to
Claim your inheritance to the
Super natural strength and power.

Therefore, Radically Seek and
Boldly walk as an heir.

Boundaries

I'm on vacation looking out over the ocean. The waters are surrounded by beautiful sand.

I took this opportunity to explain to my kids just as God has set boundaries of protection for the land, it's my responsibility as a parent to set boundaries of protection for them until they're old enough to set them. It's natural to have some waves or even hurricanes along the way, but it doesn't mean it can't be repaired, reset and return to journey again together. Find a safe, secure boundary together, then as each of you gain trust, confidence and respect for one another begin pushing the sand out further. This will allow your pool of trust to someday reach sea size. Each year as my children get older I realize the boundaries change yet our journey along the sand is together.

Bouquet of Flowers

I love the picture of Grace picking flowers, it reminds me to focus on the "greatness" of the moment. In her opinion all flowers can become a beautiful bouquet and she presented this bouquet to me with much love.

Are you focusing on the weeds in life more than the beauty of the flower? Get childlike in your thoughts and find the "greatness" in each moment. You may be missing out on a beautiful bouquet.

Let them eat cookies

Last year my father in law passed away from lung cancer. Through the course of four months all of us kids would take turns driving to Kansas City to take care of him while Mom worked. As his body shape changed because of the cancer, his energy level plummeted and the pain intensified so did the craving for cookies. We were so concerned for his well being and health we would only give him cookies after he ate a good meal.

One day while while I was caring for him, he decided he wanted egg drop soup for lunch. Off I went to Golden Eggroll for the soup. Upon my return he was still sitting at the table waiting to eat. I hurriedly got it ready and placed it in front of him. I sat across from him, staring, waiting for him to take his first slurp. For some reason I felt this overwhelming urge to just tell him how much I love him. So I did. There was a long silence.

Lee, aka Dad, Grandpa, fix-it man, Macgyver, etc., was always positive. Rarely do you meet someone who always sees the glass 1/2 full. He did. He was the life of the party, entering the room with a big "HELLO" and bunches of hugs. He would chase the little children around the room until he'd catch them and "booge" - tickle them until their laughter was so hard it would turn to silence and their faces were red. He was one of a kind.

After our long silence, he looked up at me and said, "You know what I think?" With all the attention I could give him, I waited for his next words. "I don't think I feel good anymore and I don't want this soup". He got up from the table and stumbled to his bed. Now sitting alone at the table looking at his soup bowl full of soup I began to cry. At that moment, I knew Dad wasn't going to live much longer and one thing needed to change.

I got up from the table, went to the pantry and got a brand new box of cookies out. With the box of cookies in hand I went to his bedroom and asked, "Would you like some cookies?" Without looking at me, he nodded yes. I sat at his bedside while he ate several cookies, cleaned up the crumbs and let him rest.

This taught me a valuable lesson. At times in life and especially if you're caring for someone, things aren't normal and well, just can't be. Life is short and at different seasons can be extremely short, therefore let them eat cookies. Sit and enjoy a cookie with them. Hold their hand, kiss them on the head and cheek, hug them as much as possible and tell them how much you love them.

After mine and Dad's table moment I began scooping out ice cream and placing it in a cup so when he would wake up in the night it would be ready for him in the freezer. I also started putting cookies in a zip lock bag and placing it under his pillow so all he had to do is grab it in the night.

I miss him and am so thankful we had our cookie times together.

"The Who's"

The Who's can rub off on you
The Who's will lift you up or bring you down
The Who's help mold your inner being
The Who's are all around
Who are you?
A Who?
Or you?