Be afraid, very afraid

So my girlfriend and I are talking about her 6th grade daughter who is being bullied in school. When my friend asked her daughter if she was scared of this girl, her daughter shook her head yes. Hmm, my friend pondered, is this girl larger than you? Yes, the daughter shook her head again. Hmm, my friend hesitated, is this girl larger than me? (My friend is a size 2, most people are larger than her~crazy hesitation and question) Yes, the daughter shook her head and then added, "Mom even her breasts are larger than yours!"

Well....there you have it!
Be afraid, very afraid.

Chicago...

Sometimes we just have to get away from the everyday activities and our normal environment to gain perspective of our purpose. We were in Chicago less than 48 hours but Gracie and I made the most of it. Riding the subway to Downtown, which BTW was her first time to ride, was a thrill to watch her observe the difference in people. Our first person she noticed was the little old man in the blue hat - talking to himself and everyone around. He was loud, talking about absolutely nothing, yet brought a smile to the faces around him. Which was more than others were able to accomplish. We hit downtown around noon, walked Magnificent Mile browsing through many stores (American Girl, Nike, Feline's Basement, Guess, Macy's, Marshall Fields to name a few) and ended for a break at our fav - Corner Bakery! With our cup of coffee and hot chocolate in hand we journeyed to the river, stopping at the NBC studio where Gracie jumped up and down outside behind the news anchor's studio window. Yes, it showed that on air :). After a long day, we headed to the CTA to take the subway home. Crowded in with the other bizillion 5 o'clockers we stood and finally found two seats available. After about 30-40 minutes on the subway there were only two other men and us left on....we thought...until back in the corner was our little old man in the blue hat. I couldn't resist. I had to go over and take a picture. At first he was reluctant saying, "No, no, no, no" as fast as he could. Then I told him, "We just want to take a picture of your cute little blue hat." Well O.K., he decided. Snap I got the picture. He couldn't wait to see his picture, loved it and as we got off the subway he waved goodbye.

The next day Gracie and I were up early and headed back into downtown. After having breakfast at our fav - Corner Bakery, we headed over to the Sears Tower (the tallest building in the U.S.). Wow, that's incredible and everyone must journey up to the 103 or 99th floor. After we finished our hour or so of gazing at beautiful Chicago we headed back out to the streets to journey some more.

I realized several things on this trip:

1. Rarely do people smile if they don't know you, but when you take a chance and smile first - most often than not - they smile back. -:0).

2. The traffic ladies in Chicago are very friendly - we're glad because we asked each one we saw how to get from A-B & Y-Z, they always obliged and helped us.

3. Grace likes revolving doors. I should have one put in the house.

4. We held casual interviews on the streets of Chicago asking what "girl" advice they would give to an 11 year old. Great advice...I'll post it someday.

5. People who sing on the streets and in the subway stations have great voices - they should get paid more for singing.

6. Our hearts hurt for the homeless people who sat or laid there awake but lifeless. We smiled, they didn't.

7. Corner Bakery has an awesome staff - friendly, helpful and funny.

8. The people in Chicago are just like the people in our hometown - hard workers trying to get by - but if they saw someone in need, they would help.

9. We affect each other a lot and can change an expression or thought by an act of kindness.

10. I loved my time with my daughter, Gracie. She reminds me to chillout - enjoy life - turn the phone and laptop off. Go through the revolving door more than once. Ride the elevator to the top floor. Feed the pigeons on the street. Smile at the homeless and on the subway. Keep things simple like the little man in the blue hat: strike up a conversation, be able to laugh at yourself and smile at everyone around.

Gracie you poured in my life again without even knowing. But guess who else did too, the little man with the blue hat, without even knowing it he poured into my life.

So here's to a great trip Gracie and our new friend, the little old man with the blue hat!

The book is POUR and I'm writing

Yesterday I met with the ghost writer to finalize our approach. She had some great points and we finalized the layout of thoughts (wow did I ever have a lot of thoughts).

My passion is to help females, young and old, realize their potential. I can't be a "mother" daily walking with these girls and ladies so to put what has worked for me in book form and workbook is our best bet. Plus we will host Pour conventions/gatherings, taping them to be on podcasts and viewed through our website. Monthly we will host Dr. Juliet Caceres, family and child psychiatrist, who will answer questions. We will have available podcasts/videos to help youth communicate with their parents on hard topics. We hope to have this available in schools next fall. At first, all of this was just going to be for young girls, but through my conversations and interviews I've realized there are some women up in age that still struggle with old "baggage" and self doubt. Many even are passing the "baggage" down to their children who unless travel the path of self discovery realizing their passions, talents, and strengths they will believe in the baggage and make it a permanent part of their life. Therefore our target market is females of all ages, but I think men will benefit from it as well.

The book and series is titled, Pour. What we allow "poured" into our lives we become. We have permission to stop the pouring, preventing it to take home in our mind thus orchestrating our perception of who we are or can become. There are areas of our minds that are unopened with new motivations & opportunities, therefore providing "Wow" and "Ah Ha" moments in our lives. The book will walk you through the process of opening those areas. One of the quotes in the book is: "What is poured into your life or you pour into others WILL someday bear fruit." The "field of bygones" could be portrayed in the book as a "spiritual" walk but will not, although in the appropriate settings it would be great. I've personally traveled to the field of bygones many times. To ensure a healthy life, the field of bygones must be visited frequently, ridding the baggage, struggles, and strongholds in our life that prevent us from success, opportunities and happiness. I portray struggles and hurts in the book as badges. Some choose to wear their struggles and hurts on their sash as a badge of honor as if to say, "Hey, look here, look what I've earned. Yea it was hard....want to hear about it?" Some never want to get rid of their "badge of hurt", and move on. Another part, I ask the readers to stand in the mirror from shoulders up, looking at themselves; see how long you can do that without having a negative thought about yourself? What is the first thought when YOU say your name?

I could go on and on about the writings. I have toiled back and forth on how to write this and finally have come to the conclusion to write what I say to people almost every week. "Ah ha"!

Pour

Pour! What you pour into your child, they will someday wear as fruit in their life.

I'm asking you to hold me accountable to finish the task I've been working on for several years, writing a book titled, Pour. Feel free to leave a comment or your thoughts regarding the passages. Over the next few weeks and months I will post random passages from the book. My passion to pour into your life, plant a seed to bear fruit for a great harvest. The following is a passage from my first write:

The verbal or expressive choices parents make in helping their children travel through their twenteens (ages 14-21) will impact their life as adults. The fruit they bear will in part be the seeds you've planted and your continuation of pouring throughout their life for a harvest.

The other day I asked my son to water the flowers and plants. He gathered up the pitchers and began filling them with water. As I was pulling out of the garage and glanced around at our ferns and wilted flowers I thought to myself how water will help revive them. I drove on to the gas station to fill the car up with gasoline. While holding the nozzle in the car, with the gas pouring into the tank I saw a mother yelling at her child. As if her child were miles away and couldn’t hear, she spewed her point filled with profanity at him and slammed the door. About that time my pump stopped because my gasoline tank was full. I returned the nozzle to the pump, put the cap on, sat in the driver’s seat and shut the door. Driving by the boy behind the slammed door our eyes met and I realized his tank is empty. What his mother had just poured into him drained his little heart, soul and spirit.

Pour – a daily act into lives of those we interact with. Some pour pure water even filled with fertilizer to help us in our growth. Others pour acid that rips us from within. There are even those who pour sludge which keeps us dredging uphill.

I was looking through my son’s new iphone. He was showing me all the great tools and programs on the iphone. As he pointed to the “Notes” icon he said and I can keep track of my days on the notes. We continued to look at his phone together and I asked him if I could look at the notes, facebook, youtube, etc, sure he said. Looking through his notes I noticed on each day he had typed, Won or Lost. As I continued to look through each day I saw where after each documentation of won or lost he would have a explanation, “I empowered” “I helped” or even “I was tempted but didn’t give in”. On lost he had “I wasn’t compassionate”. I asked him what each one meant and he explained he keeps track each day whether he wins or loses. Wow! Without even realizing, he had just poured into my life and on this day he could journal, Won, I poured.

Field of Bygones

The field of bygones….
A field filled with years and years of bygones.
A place the young at heart can simplistically understand but as years
of life grow on the hearts of individuals
the comprehension & understanding of the field of bygones becomes complex.

Some slowly drive by and watch in wonder
others step at the edge of the fence and
watch the field in the distance fill with people
who have traveled down the narrow path
to leave their bygones.

The bygones are churned in the ground
being used as fertilizer, similar to a compost
to be used for the next generation to step upon
Leaving their bygones.

As you dispose of your bygones in the field
A rebirthing begins within your heart and soul.
While some individuals chose to stay
and focus on their years of bygones
Others humbly empty their bygones, turn and walk away.

The moment you breathe the words,
“Be gone my bygone, Pour life into me.”
The spirit of the sacrificial lamb
Enters your body and begins filling the emptiness with life.

As you turn to walk the path to exit the field
A rebirthing, new energy, new life is felt.
It’s a new spirit beating inside of you.
Your heart is now beating in harmony
with the creator of the Universe,

At the exit of the field of bygones is
An inheritance book and
Upon the death of your bygones
A will is presented; it’s called the book of life.
Within this book of life you will learn
How to gain your inheritance as an adopted
Son & Daughter to the King of the Universe.

The King of the Universe has now bestowed upon you
Special offerings as his Sons and Daughters.
The book of life instructs you on how to
Claim your inheritance to the
Super natural strength and power.

Therefore, Radically Seek and
Boldly walk as an heir.

Hand of Grace - by Gracie age 11

From the Hand of Grace

Able to always trust their God they begin to grow,
See a new prospective of life, peace, love, joy and kindness they show.
Others may say “You’ll never succeed or amount to anything.”
You should know they are wrong and forget and throw out,
All the words of hatred people will shout.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind.
Therefore be like Jesus, through you let Him shine.
You be the one to change the world and make a stand,
Don’t wait for someone to come tell you that you can.
There is no limit on your potential and ability to do,
Just be sure it will build people up along with you.
This world was made to make you happy not sad,
so show the creator that His creation was not at all bad.
Every thing I am telling you is meant to speak to your heart and not go in one ear and out other,
so do the same as me-carry it on to your father, mother, sister or brother.

The only people in the world who eternally succeed in life,
have trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ

Alyson Stoner

It was refreshing to see and meet Alyson Stoner this summer. While my daughter and I were visiting my nephew in Minneapolis, we went to the Great Mall of America. As we walked through the mall we passed a sign announcing, Alyson Stoner would be at Build a Bear from noon until 3pm. It was 11:45! Wow could life be any better? Gracie about jumped out of her skin knowing she could meet Alyson. I'll have to be honest, I didn't know much about Alyson but did recognize her beautiful face. Within minutes Alyson came walking up to the line of girls waiting to meet her. She is tall, thin, sparkling eyes, was dressed in green overall shorts and had a smile that any toothpaste commercial would die for. Immediately I could see her geniune appreciation for all the girls who were there. Her beautiful smile greeted each girl as they stood before her and never faded as she posed with about 400 girls for pictures. Gracie approached the table, conversed with her and then they took a picture together. Gracie's smile matched Alyson's as she walked away with a signed photo in hand.

Since then I have researched her bio's with Gracie and have come to a couple of conclusions. She's a wonderful role model for girls. She empowers and encourages girls and guys to be the best they can be, plus dream and dream big. Don't let others or circumstances stop what God has birthed in your heart. If you have a talent, use it and bless others with it. Be compassionate towards one another. Recently she volunteered to help inner city kids in LA. Alyson is also helping kids get fit with her Wii fit, http://www.getfitwithalyson/ (or visit http://www.alysonstoner.com/ ). Plus check out her movie "Alice upside down". It's real life issues young kids experience and a perfect movie for all ages to watch.

She's the new hero in mine and Gracies heart! She's from the Midwest, has a heart of gold, a geniune down to earth kind of gal you would sit on the back porch and chat with. Most importantly she's a positive inspiration to young girls.

Thanks Alyson! Keep up the great work. We look forward to meeting you again.

They're Watching

I’m staying at a friend’s lake house while their on vacation. Our families are usually together every weekend mutually enjoying our time but on this occasion we’re alone. To be honest, it’s very different without our friends here. We’ve been “lake rats” together for almost 10 years now. Debbie and I enjoy our early morning coffee, devotion and conversation on the veranda overlooking the peaceful, calming waters while our husbands and my son rise early to enjoy the perfect wakeboarding waters. The girls usually wake up mid-morning ready to go tubing. The community where their lake house is has quaint Adirondack style homes and the families who fill the homes are just as wonderful. Since we have been visiting with our friends for years, the families of this small lake village have welcomed us as a part of their village. Our children have grown fond of one couple and each time we are down they run out onto the veranda to see if their boat is uncovered, which means they’re here. We’ve become great friends and through the years have invited them over to our home for Christmas parties.

Today the wife of the couple told me her husband asked Jesus to be his Savior. I thought how wonderful, he now is being instructed by the King of the Universe, his heavenly Father. She mentioned how he felt most Christians were hypocrites, freely passing judgment upon others. But it was the question from his bicycle partner, “Setting religions aside, if you die on the way home, where do you think you will go? Heaven or Hell” that encouraged him to begin thinking beyond the hypocrisy of his past experiences plus what he observed in our friends and us. She mentioned he had been observing us and our friends for years and realized we were the same in all situations. We had no idea he had been watching or perhaps we would have strived to be better. The point is, you never know who is watching. Colossians 4:4 “Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out. “

A great reminder to myself to humbly walk, allowing my Father to orchestrate my steps, taking advantage of all opportunities that lie ahead.

Enjoy your time with your Father.

Princess Lady

Once upon a time, in the quietness of her bedroom surrounded by her stuffed animals & webkinz, colorful bed linens, pillows and posters of Hannah Montana, sat a Princess. Seasonally she would celebrate changes about her: the loss of teeth, increase in height, intellectual accomplishments, sports victories and new High School musical dance moves. One day as she looked at herself in the mirror she noticed her body changing in numerous ways and the thoughts of her image began to change too. She knew she was nearing the age of becoming a Princess Lady. She wondered if today would be her day of celebration. All the Princesses at the schoolyard would gather together, some curious who or if any had received the honor of ladyship while others still youthful/childlike in thoughts and actions would continue playing with no curiosity at all. The Princess enjoyed her youthful manner thus far, each night she would pray thanking God for creating her as a princess and for the perfect time to receive her ladyship.

The following day just after waking up, her Ladyship arrived…she became a Princess Lady. The Princess ran to find her Queen Mother to tell her of her ladyship. In the gathering room with Princesses siblings the Queen was folding the laundry. The Princess bellowed out as she ran into the room, “I’ve received my ladyship. I’ve received my ladyship. This is the day the Lord has chosen for me to become a Princess Lady”. The Queen arose to give her now Princess Lady a warm congratulatory hug and kiss, “We must celebrate this evening since the Lord must know you are physically, mentally and spiritually ready to become a Princess Lady”.

The table was set with the honoree at the head of the table. On her plate was a beautiful gift box. Below the gift box were two ribbons of her favorite color. When she opened the box her photo was inside. “You sit here Princess Lady”, said the Queen. The family gathered around the table to honor, Princess Lady. “What is the box for”, asked Princess Lady? The Queen began explaining, “The picture inside reflects this day, the day the Lord chose for you to become a Princess Lady. The box represents your pure body, reflective in the image of God. The ribbons are your arms and legs to tie tightly around your body. With the ribbons tied tightly you are a treasured gift. You are to protect your gift, keeping it pure. Your Gift is the most valuable treasure only you will be able to give away. Although you could be tempted to share your gift before it’s time, it is the Lords choice for you to present your gift to the mate the Lord chooses for you. This mate will be one you are equally yoked with. He is preparing this mate for you right now to love and honor you. On the day you chose to marry before God and Man, you will be able to untie the ribbons and present your most precious gift to your husband.

Your body will continue to grow and change; your heart will be more open to love therefore your soul must stay focused on God. The day the Lord formed you he created a perfect plan for you. He is entrusting you today with the gift of ladyship, to grow as a lady of the Lord using your gifts and talents for his glory.

Your body has been changing and will continue to change through the years. As your body continues to transform from a girl to a woman; you will notice changes in the private ladyship parts, hips & legs, waist and even your facial features. None of us are completely alike; God has made us all unique yet in his image. While your body is changing so are your emotions, intellect and spirit. He has given you a mind to be full of knowledge and treasures. Your everyday activities will be stored in your treasure box called a memory bank. Therefore be wise in your decisions of activities, conversation and relationship, for this too helps mold us in become who we are.

Remember throughout your lifetime, “I thank you, High god – you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! Psalm 139:14

Last Breath

Today a friend of mine took her last breath.
The moment I heard of the news I gasped.
I felt the earth should pause and
The cars on the highway should move to the side.
The birds, crickets and wildlife should quiet and
All human beings should stop but for a moment
To honor my dear friend who too has stopped.

In honor of Sophie Marie Carmichael, a woman of faith and great fighter against cancer.

Boundaries

I'm on vacation looking out over the ocean. The waters are surrounded by beautiful sand.

I took this opportunity to explain to my kids just as God has set boundaries of protection for the land, it's my responsibility as a parent to set boundaries of protection for them until they're old enough to set them. It's natural to have some waves or even hurricanes along the way, but it doesn't mean it can't be repaired, reset and return to journey again together. Find a safe, secure boundary together, then as each of you gain trust, confidence and respect for one another begin pushing the sand out further. This will allow your pool of trust to someday reach sea size. Each year as my children get older I realize the boundaries change yet our journey along the sand is together.

Bouquet of Flowers

I love the picture of Grace picking flowers, it reminds me to focus on the "greatness" of the moment. In her opinion all flowers can become a beautiful bouquet and she presented this bouquet to me with much love.

Are you focusing on the weeds in life more than the beauty of the flower? Get childlike in your thoughts and find the "greatness" in each moment. You may be missing out on a beautiful bouquet.

Father

Our driveway is 1/3 mile long. Each morning the walk down is full of conversation with my daughter as we wait for her to catch the bus but the journey back is with my Father. I call him by what he is to me....my Father. I ask him to open my mind to opportunities I could not orchestrate on my own but through him are possible. Open my mind Father to receive your blessings, help me to stay focused your tasks and not those I feel take precedence. Give me discernment in my conversations, help me to speak through your annointing and not through my flesh. When I speak to my children, let it be as if you are using me as you puppet to speak your words. Help me to remember you first loved my children but then gave them to me, entrusting me to love them unconditionally and raise according to your scripture. Remind me who I am as your child and that you have a purposeful plan for me. Help me to reflect on my blessings rather than what we as humans would naturally reflect upon.

As I continue to walk and talk to my Father I lay all my thoughts and concerns before him. Before I reach the bend in the road and with the quietness of the surroundings, I pause to lift my arms. As a very small child lifts their arms to be held, I too in complete submission, humbleness and faith reach as far as my fingertips to receive his embrace. With outstretched arms towards my Father, I begin to hear from him and life's burdens begin to be lifted. My mind, heart, and soul begin filling with him. I realize my worries, concerns, pain, anticipations, hopes and dreams are beyond my fingertips. I can manage what is within my touch therefore I place before him the details of my life which are beyond my fingertips. Those details I have no control over, but through my Father the unthinkable is possible. Sometimes I just stand in awe while other times I weep before him.

As I walk out of the wooded area and crest the hill towards home, I look to the open pasture on the right and know my journey for the day has been placed before my Father. Now what should I worry about....Nothing! I'm ready for the day.

Little Slugger - One...two...two & half....three

It never ceases to amaze me when I hear a parent yelling to their child over the hoards of people, "one...two...two and a half....don't make me say three....did you hear me....don't make me say three....THREE!" Again, today, I witnessed the wonderful parenting skills of counting to three. Although when the kids reach elementary age they're going to think two and a half...don't make me say three...THREE is part of the numeric system. If you have used this system and it has worked magic for you read no further. However I've only publicly witnessed the unsuccessful counting parents in Wal-mart, Target, busy malls, grocery stores, parking lots, churches, and etc. Today I watched Little slugger as he was off and running, by the time Mom yelled two and half he was around the corner. Then when Mom reached three he had already reached his destination, the toy isle. There he was enjoying his climb upon a scooter. Mom, still at the checkout counter believing the counting system is going to work. Hello Mom, I have news for you, it's not working. All the other people in the checkout line including myself have watched Little Slugger run as fast as his 12 inch long legs can go while big sister is standing there yelling three with Mom. With my arms full of items I watched Mom threaten big sister for all she's worth if she leaves the counter, "Dont YOU leave, I'll be right back. I have to go get Little Slugger". Off she goes dashing to the toy isle and now headed back asking Little Slugger if he heard three. By this time I wanted to interject and say, "The entire store heard THREE! Guess what, one...two...three is not working."

I commend those who have used the numbering system for "child control" and were successful. However for those who use it and it doesn't work, I have a suggestion. Observe the families in public areas who have all their peeps with them and in a controlled fashion. Ask these individuals, what parenting skill are you using? What's your success record with going out in public and not having to raise your voice above the crowd? How many times has Little Slugger ran away from you at the store? How many times have you had to threaten your child in the store? Lastly, ask does you child know how to accurately count one..two..three...four...etc? I would guess these families have discussed positive behavior in public will equate to positive, happy times upon arrival back home.

I know in my household when my children were young and we had an incident in public, the kiddos had a "happy chair" they sat in when we returned home. This happy chair provided great moments for them to think about their choices and how they wouldn't make those same choices again. There also were times we would just leave the store, head home and guess what....no trip to McDonalds or Chuckie Cheese. Yes, I did miss out on some play group times with my friends too but it didn't take too many trips straight home for my Little Slugger and his Little Sister to realize consequences or reward.

I challenge you to take on the Mrs. Doubtfire or Mister Rogers tone of voice and demeanor. Use these words, "Oh Little Slugger, it saddens me that you've decided to run 100 miles an hour away from me. That's so sad because we'll have to skip McDonalds and go straight home. I think you're going to enjoy some time in the happy chair. I bet next time you'll behave like we've discussed and we'll have a wonderful time on our adventure."

An adventure, that is exactly what it is.
Parenting is an adventure.
Enjoy!

Mother's Day

Today I honor Elizabeth Graham and Donna Gayle Higgins.
They have helped mold my heart and soul.
They believed in me when I felt no one did.
Their laughter brings laughter to me.
Their happiness gives me joy.
The one thing they couldn't begin to explain, I had to experience on my own;
the love I'd have in being a Mom.
My children have molded my heart and soul
I believe in them when they think no one else does.
Their laughter brings laughter to me.
Their happiness gives me great joy.
The one thing I couldn't begin to explain is
the love you have for your children and what an honor it is to be a Mother.

Bus Ride

I carpool to and from school with two of my girlfriends. Our motto is, "No kid left behind", although it has happened. During the school year all three of us have had "family issues" affecting our carpool schedule. Cynthia and I both work from home while Jane, who is a stay at home mom, volunteers enough to equal anyone's busy schedule. Recently we had to revamp our carpool schedule to get us through school year. I attempted, even began putting it on an excel spreadsheet, to readjust our driving duties. Interrupted by numerous calls, appointments, school and family activities, I failed to get it completed. Gratefully I passed it off to Jane to figure out. Within a couple of days, Jane returned back to us the sheet of paper with new driving schedules and at the bottom of the paper the formula in how she determined who was driving when. It looked fine to me so I called Cynthia to see if it looked alright to her. She didn't quite like it and as we hung up we decided we'd just keep our old schedule. Soon my husband arrived home, I showed him the schedule and told him about my conversation with Cynthia. He said, "This is a great schedule and you should call her back to see if she understands she drives less."

My first random thought was; I am spending so much time on this blasted carpool schedule...to...there are starving people in the world and we are concerned about this crazy carpool schedule. URG! Then a revelation came to me, THE BUS. Lets just put the kids on the bus. The kids will be last on the bus on the way to school and first off on the way home. Quickly I called Cynthia and Jane, they were in agreement. The following day I called the bus barn to schedule a bus pickup for the children. Done, they're scheduled. Yippee!

The next morning Gracie and I had our usual morning: coffee, breakfast, devotion and a quick game of Yahtzee. We got all of our stuff ready for the jaunt down our 1/3 mile driveway to catch the bus. I could tell Gracie was feeling some butterflies about riding the bus for the first time.

I remember my bus driver, Randy Johnson. He was so strong he picked up a car blocking the road which was stuck in the snow and moved it out of the way. All the kids had their faces smashed up against the window ooing and awwing. All the girls on the bus thought he was the most handsome thing they'd ever seen. As Randy drove our bus down the road, periodically looking up in his mirror to check on the kids, he'd have about 10 seats FULL of girls smiling dreamingly and waving back at him. He would flash a grin and keep on driving. Since all the seats up front were taken by the others girls, I had to sit in the back of the bus by that mean "Barry" boy. I threatened Barry every inch of his life that if he ever laid a hand on me I would clean his clock. With my teeth grit together I would say, "Barry you get near me and I'll clean your clock". I guess I made a believer out of him because he never bothered me, although down deep inside I wasn't sure if I could clean his clock.

Unsure of the exact arrival time of the bus, Gracie and I were ten minutes early which gave us time to talk about which seat she was going to chose. She decided she'd just sit in the front close to the door. Good choice! Soon the bus arrived and since it was the first time for it to stop at our driveway, all the kids stood as if they were giving Gracie a standing ovation for getting on the bus. Gracie's bus driver is a sweet Grandpa, Mr. Jim. The bus stayed still until Gracie chose her seat...at the back of the bus. I slowly turned around trying not to look obvious, but wanting to see Gracie. The bus STOP sign was pulled in and the bus slowly took off. With a smile on her face as big as the United States, there Gracie was waving goodbye from the back of the bus.

I hope Gracie's bus experience is as memorable as mine was and if she does meet a "Barry" boy I know what our next discussion will be as we travel down the driveway to meet the bus.

Let them eat cookies

Last year my father in law passed away from lung cancer. Through the course of four months all of us kids would take turns driving to Kansas City to take care of him while Mom worked. As his body shape changed because of the cancer, his energy level plummeted and the pain intensified so did the craving for cookies. We were so concerned for his well being and health we would only give him cookies after he ate a good meal.

One day while while I was caring for him, he decided he wanted egg drop soup for lunch. Off I went to Golden Eggroll for the soup. Upon my return he was still sitting at the table waiting to eat. I hurriedly got it ready and placed it in front of him. I sat across from him, staring, waiting for him to take his first slurp. For some reason I felt this overwhelming urge to just tell him how much I love him. So I did. There was a long silence.

Lee, aka Dad, Grandpa, fix-it man, Macgyver, etc., was always positive. Rarely do you meet someone who always sees the glass 1/2 full. He did. He was the life of the party, entering the room with a big "HELLO" and bunches of hugs. He would chase the little children around the room until he'd catch them and "booge" - tickle them until their laughter was so hard it would turn to silence and their faces were red. He was one of a kind.

After our long silence, he looked up at me and said, "You know what I think?" With all the attention I could give him, I waited for his next words. "I don't think I feel good anymore and I don't want this soup". He got up from the table and stumbled to his bed. Now sitting alone at the table looking at his soup bowl full of soup I began to cry. At that moment, I knew Dad wasn't going to live much longer and one thing needed to change.

I got up from the table, went to the pantry and got a brand new box of cookies out. With the box of cookies in hand I went to his bedroom and asked, "Would you like some cookies?" Without looking at me, he nodded yes. I sat at his bedside while he ate several cookies, cleaned up the crumbs and let him rest.

This taught me a valuable lesson. At times in life and especially if you're caring for someone, things aren't normal and well, just can't be. Life is short and at different seasons can be extremely short, therefore let them eat cookies. Sit and enjoy a cookie with them. Hold their hand, kiss them on the head and cheek, hug them as much as possible and tell them how much you love them.

After mine and Dad's table moment I began scooping out ice cream and placing it in a cup so when he would wake up in the night it would be ready for him in the freezer. I also started putting cookies in a zip lock bag and placing it under his pillow so all he had to do is grab it in the night.

I miss him and am so thankful we had our cookie times together.

Excuse me but "your girls" are showing!

I'm amazed when I watch t.v., especially if my (just turned) 11 year old daughter is sitting with me, to see how "the girls" are exposed on nearly every commercial and show. We were watching Dancing with the Stars last night and my daughter asked, "How does she keep her girls from falling out?" Hmm, I wonder if she uses duct tape to hold those "girls" in place. The only recent show we watched and didn't see "the girls" was, Am I smarter than a fifth grader. Go figure, fifth graders are smarter and know to keep the girls covered up. What possesses a female to show, "the girls"? What goes on in their minds as they're getting ready for their day, pause...look in the mirror and think, "Wow, my girls are looking good." It's inevitable we'll see "the girls" on t.v., but when "the girls" are exposed in person that's quite awkward. While I was picking my daughter up from an event a lady came bebopping towards me. All I could see were her "perky girls". "Julie, Julie", she kept yelling, I wanted to be absorbed like paint on the wall and disappear. As she approached me, my first thought was to yell, "Stop, I think your girls are in a race to the top and I don't want to see which one wins." As the lady and I were finishing our conversation, I looked down at my daughter who had the expression of "good grief what's up with those girls" and we walked away. I knew the question would be asked before we reached the car, "Why do some females show "their girls"? Good question I answered and therefore we ask, "Excuse me, why do you let your girls show?"

"The Who's"

The Who's can rub off on you
The Who's will lift you up or bring you down
The Who's help mold your inner being
The Who's are all around
Who are you?
A Who?
Or you?