Let them eat cookies

Last year my father in law passed away from lung cancer. Through the course of four months all of us kids would take turns driving to Kansas City to take care of him while Mom worked. As his body shape changed because of the cancer, his energy level plummeted and the pain intensified so did the craving for cookies. We were so concerned for his well being and health we would only give him cookies after he ate a good meal.

One day while while I was caring for him, he decided he wanted egg drop soup for lunch. Off I went to Golden Eggroll for the soup. Upon my return he was still sitting at the table waiting to eat. I hurriedly got it ready and placed it in front of him. I sat across from him, staring, waiting for him to take his first slurp. For some reason I felt this overwhelming urge to just tell him how much I love him. So I did. There was a long silence.

Lee, aka Dad, Grandpa, fix-it man, Macgyver, etc., was always positive. Rarely do you meet someone who always sees the glass 1/2 full. He did. He was the life of the party, entering the room with a big "HELLO" and bunches of hugs. He would chase the little children around the room until he'd catch them and "booge" - tickle them until their laughter was so hard it would turn to silence and their faces were red. He was one of a kind.

After our long silence, he looked up at me and said, "You know what I think?" With all the attention I could give him, I waited for his next words. "I don't think I feel good anymore and I don't want this soup". He got up from the table and stumbled to his bed. Now sitting alone at the table looking at his soup bowl full of soup I began to cry. At that moment, I knew Dad wasn't going to live much longer and one thing needed to change.

I got up from the table, went to the pantry and got a brand new box of cookies out. With the box of cookies in hand I went to his bedroom and asked, "Would you like some cookies?" Without looking at me, he nodded yes. I sat at his bedside while he ate several cookies, cleaned up the crumbs and let him rest.

This taught me a valuable lesson. At times in life and especially if you're caring for someone, things aren't normal and well, just can't be. Life is short and at different seasons can be extremely short, therefore let them eat cookies. Sit and enjoy a cookie with them. Hold their hand, kiss them on the head and cheek, hug them as much as possible and tell them how much you love them.

After mine and Dad's table moment I began scooping out ice cream and placing it in a cup so when he would wake up in the night it would be ready for him in the freezer. I also started putting cookies in a zip lock bag and placing it under his pillow so all he had to do is grab it in the night.

I miss him and am so thankful we had our cookie times together.